Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
