Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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