glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
