I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
