are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
