Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
