so that wasnt chicken after all
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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