Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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