I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
