I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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