last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize