is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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