Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
