I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
