I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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