YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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