Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
