the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i dont even know how to be here
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
