Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
