You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
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He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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