just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
