maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
