fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
