I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
