dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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