he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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