Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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