I think my vagina is haunted
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
