I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
