..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
