Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
