tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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