I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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