i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
handjob tips. give me some.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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