Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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