Apparently you make a good broom.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.