i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
false alarm, still single
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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