This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Ladies don't puke and tell
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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