I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I AM VODKA MAN
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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