Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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