the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
