she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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