I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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