Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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