I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
