If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
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Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
His nipple licking is glorious
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