you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize