the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
