a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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