she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
