with your own penis?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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