I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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