There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
