As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
