There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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