you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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