I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
