Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
