Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
