And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
