I am midnight drunk by noon
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
