I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we're making bets on your personal life
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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