Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
