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chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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