Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
