Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
