My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
it's great music for shaving your balls
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
