Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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