I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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